What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?
where you put the cucumber
theres 3 different types of 5sos
you’ve got your cute n cuddly
you’ve got your sex goDS
and your fuckin idiots
my friends sister was telling me about how in highschool a guy tried to take a picture up her skirt as she was walking up stairs and she saw, grabbed his phone, broke it in half, and handed it back to him and said “you can tell your mom why your phones broken”
for a second I forgot about flip phones and I was like how in the holy hell did she rip a phone in half
If celery is 90% water, is the ocean 10% celery?
i need to know for school
“Ah, Perry the platypus!”
“What an unexpected -“
“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!”
“By societal convention!”
“Look! We’re in a fine dining environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant!”
“That’s right. You’re trapped. Sit down.”
This show is fucking brilliant.
my mom was carrying her ipad and a piece of pizza but she stumbled and dropped her ipad on the floor but held tight to her pizza and i’m so glad i know where my priorities come from